Seismo-Zombie Dabbles in Poems

The stars are forever beyond our reach
The dachsund is always there
The dreams of man may come and go
The dachsund is always present
Sometimes we lose sight of the things that are dear
The mighty dachsund may obscure the view
Our lives are marked by beginnings and ends
The dachsund is eternal

Sometimes it pees on the rug
		
		

"Sauerkraut and sour cream"
  Those words begin my horrid dream
I scan the room; a sense of dread...
  A hundred tapirs in my bed!
A hundred pairs of eyes that glare
  Their unremitting tapir glare.
What can I do? Where can I go
  To exit from this hellish show?
Their baleful gaze in morning light
  Doth fill me with a sense of fright.
A tapirette, eyes sad and sweet,
  Then begs me for some cheese to eat.
To eat, to wit, to sleep, to dream,
  I feed her sauer-kraut-and-cream.
		
		

Why is this cheese?
It is because it is cheese.
It's cheese because it is
Because it is
Because it's cheese.

It's cheese.
It's cheese that's cheese for me.
It's cheese for me, it is
It really is for me
It is
And that's all it is
And it's all mine
And that's just fine

Because it is, it really is
And it's cheese.
		
		

there's too much to do
there's too much to do
i've written proposals
my brain has turned blue

there's too much to do
there's too much to write
i worked on an abstract
it took me all night

there's too much to do
there's too much to plan
we drove to the trench site
in a government van

there's too much to do
things to proofread and study
i give my reports
to my boss who's named 'buddy'

there's too much to do
there's no time to relax
i spend too much time
at the phone and the fax

there's too much to do
lots of software to build
i started a process
but root had it killed

there's too much to do
lots of students need aid
i have to keep working
if i want to get paid

there's too much to do
lots of figures to plot
i graph out my data
and sign my name 'scott'

there's too much to do
lots of time sheets and forms
when you work for the survey
you abide by their norms

there's too much to do
there's too much to do
things here are real busy
but what's new with you?
		

Ho! I am King of the Soup Sea!
And you are looking forward to meeting with me
I shall arrive with my daughter and wife
To bring joy to your sad and your miserable life!

You may drink from the soup in the sea that I live
Or eat from a bowl (but do NOT use a sieve!)
You'll be swept away by the wonderful savor
Of hot buttered mongoose with hummingbird flavor.

And if you are keen you may possibly note
A hint of red onion and garlicky goat
Or even discern the faint subtle taste
Of old leather belts from Tom Bosley's waist.

So save all your smiles and buy a big spoon
I think we'll arrive sometime late afternoon
We're not sure quite when our arrival is booked;
I picked up the tickets but just haven't looked.

I just don't know when, so don't bother to wait
We might get there early; we might get there late.
So don't ask me when I expect that we do meet
We might first go shopping for bullion and stew meat.

And as for a get-together day that is great
Well, Wednesday's too early and Sunday's too late
And Friday we'll be at the Frohlich-Man's house
Where we'll eat fancy mushrooms and listen to Strauss.

Thursday could work, but I don't know the plan
We arrive at the airport and hijack a van
I'm not sure just when, and if I am right
Why, YOU don't get home until late Thursday night!

So Saturday seems like the day that is best
We'll all get together, and as for the rest
We'll have a church meeting, and get down and pray
To a relic I stole (it's Ted Danson's toupee).
		

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